Dotty

I am hugely, almost obsessively, interested in the history of my country. I look at castles, abbeys and palaces and wonder at the lives which must have been lived therein; at costumes and jewels and who designed them, who chose them and who gifted them; at weapons and the thoughts of sons lost and at the everyday pots and bric-a-brac which survive against all the odds.

My wonderment turned into embarrassment whilst playing ping-pong one day: as the scores were called out, an important date from history was married to them. “Anne Boleyn beheaded! Ah yes, Divorced, Beheaded, Died, Divorced, Beheaded, Survived”. I knew none of this detail – my education was rooted from an early age (a drawback of our education system) firmly in two disciplines: science and language. History, geography, art and philosophy belonged to other people. The family I married into were those “other people”.

The easiest way to begin my education seemed to be through the well-documented lives of our monarchs. I think that I can say, without too much controvercy, that the most interesting monarch who springs to mind is Henry VIII. I read voraciously, first biographies of the king himself then his wives and then back a little and forward a little. As I got a grasp of the era I became mesmerised by the politics, the courtiers, those who risked life, reputation and fortune on the whim of one person…

I read fact and fiction, learning (as with newspapers) to sniff out and disregard bias and supposition. I placed people on maps, marvelling at distances travelled on horseback, and went to those places where great people stopped to stretch their aching limbs and plunge the unfortunate hosts into debt we would be proud of today.

Every so often I make myself move forwards (or back) from the comfort of my nucleus: but then trip up from lack of material – currently I am stuck on James VI/I. Why is there not a plethora of material on this boy-king who united two kingdoms? Alternatively I am sucked (most enjoyably) out on a tangent to seek out texts on the players, rather than the stars: a big fat biography of Sir Walter Raleigh awaits me (a man whose pickled head was kept by his wife!).

What I have found is that there is almost an equal amount of gems to dross, and I would welcome any comments on which you think falls into either camp. I list a small selection here:

Alison Weir
Henry VIII King and Court; The Six Wives of Henry VIII; The Lady in the Tower: The Fall of Anne Boleyn; Innocent Traitor (fiction/fact)

Phillipa Gregory (fiction)
The Other Boleyn Girl; The Constant Princess; The Queen’s Fool

CJ Sanson (fiction)
Dissolution;  Dark Fire; Sovereign; Revelation

Hilary Mantel (fiction)
Wolf Hall

Jane Dunn
Elizabeth & Mary

Raleigh Trevelyan
Sir Walter Raleigh

I have italicized those books which I felt had little merit or added little to my knowledge.

There are also, of course, the works of David Starkey and Lady Antonia Fraser – but I would be very interested to hear of those you have read which will widen my comfort zone.

I came to Twitter in June 2009. I had long heard about it being the rapid communication medium of media sorts such as Stephen Fry (the Twitter King) and other lower key, if more vociferous, celebrities. Most Radio DJs spring to mind; many journalists and American A, B, C and Z-listers.

Disillusioned by the Pet Societies, Farmvilles, Zoos and Mafia Wars of Facebook and the never-ending stream of gifts and invitations amongst the real communications I wanted to keep, I stepped over tentatively to the “other side”.

The basic premise is that you state (Tweet) whatever you are doing (or thinking or contemplating) in 140 characters or less. I started Tweeting into the ether. 20+ Tweets of what I had for breakfast, how my mother’s chicks were faring, went unheard – or unacknowledged. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, I acquired a Follower. She was interested in me! We started chatting, and other people she knew “saw” me, and started following me. Suddenly I had a group of friends. Except: we weren’t friends. They had befriended me on the information I had provided… who I felt I wanted to be, but was not. I was never the dig my own potatoes, run 20 miles before breakfast and concoct wonderful new recipes for dinner they believed me to be… It was all wrong.

Just as I was about to shut up shop another person, like me came along. The sad thing is I don’t remember who it was. All I remember is there was a real connection, and truth, and confidences, and chatter and nonsense and laughter… and then came more, and more and more wonderful people.

I am now followed by over 800 people, and actively follow about 500 back. Some of the people I follow don’t follow me – but why should they? The fact is their lives to me are more interesting than my life to them. Occasionally our paths coincide and I will end up, somehow, through sheer happenstance, having conversations with “celebrities” – who turn out to be just knackered, overworked (although seldom overpaid!) people, parents, sons, sisters, brothers, lovers like the rest of us.

The other great leveller of Twitter is that I can be totally open about my Bipolar Disorder. Nobody judges me. At least nobody I know – if they can’t cope with the fact I cannot be constantly witty and amusing – they simply disappear unheard back into the ether. I can say when I am reaching my nadir (in fact I no longer have to – I am inundated with messages should I be missed for 2 or 3 hours). I am actively watched by a few I trust implicitly for signs of mania – who know how to draw me back in gently, or ring alarm bells if need be.

Twitter is my world of other Mummies “are my children the only ones awake at 4.30 this morning asking if it is Christmas yet?” “NO!” comes 30 replies….

I am not alone. I am not judged. I have all sorts of friends. I have literary friends; cooking friends; mummy friends; daddy friends; friends who suffer mental illness – either themselves or family; friends who live in Switzerland, Finland, Austria, Germany; Mexico; USA; Canada; friends who are secretly in love; friends who are openly in love; bands I would never ever have heard of; humorous friends; sad friends; flirty friends.

In all I can reach out to the whole gamut of humanity and learn their stories – and they learn mine: the fun times, and the bad times. Our common denominator is that at worst we are open to each other. At best – and it really is a best – we love each other.

Twitter, despite anything you might read, or hear from the less informed (have they actually participated?) is a very real community and one I am proud to be a part of.

PS I have met some of these invisible beings – and not only are they real, with arms, legs and a brain – they are kind and true friends… and not an axe between them

Once in a while a chance comment to a chance friend in a chance moment in time can lead to something great. Perhaps not quite as great as in as how marvellously great  Great Britain can be (when she allows herself); or even as in as mightily great as the legend of Alexander the Great: but great in that it brought people together around the world from Finland to Nebraska to share a common interest: reading.

This encounter happened when two Twitter friends (@dottymummy and @Wendymal) both reached the end of the last book on their to-read shelves at the same time. They both happened to be on-line with the next book on their minds when the same thought occurred to them both. If we would value each other’s opinion on a book recommendation, then what about the rest of the Twitterverse (as the Big Wide World of Twitter is known)? Thus was born #goodbooktuesday.

Rising so far beyond either of our expectations, the hashtag took off, soaring higher and higher on retweets and pal to pal to pal recommendations. We determinedly did not want this to be a “Look how clever I am” exercise: just a casual dropped in conversation “I finished a really good book yesterday”. This is what we got:

Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett

Paula by Isabel Allende and Margaret Sayers Peden

We Need To Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver

Possession by A.S.Byatt (2) Amazing book. If you never finished it, do go back to it, and if you haven’t tried, it’s well worth the effort.

A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth (4). Don’t be put off by the size of it. Book where you miss the characters after.

Lean Mean Thirteen by Janet Evanovich. Way too funny to read in public re Jersey girl bounty hunter Stephanie Plum

Really NOT enjoying No Angel by Penny Vincenzi. Been ploughing through 700+ pages for 2 weeks. Must finish.

The Law of Attraction by Esther & Jerry Hicks

One Day by David Nicholls. I do not have the words to explain what a perfect, beautiful book this is.

The Time Traveller’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger (2)

Whistle Blower by Tess Gerritsen. Not one of her best but decent enough page turner.

Anything by Saki

My Uncle Oswald by Roald Dahl. 20 reads later, still ludicrously funny

I Am A Cat by Natsume Soseki

The Tale Of Genji by Murasaki Shikibu

WW1 Trilogy by Anne Perry

Bad News Bible by Anna Blundy

The Sea, The Sea by Iris Murdoch. A dark tale of love and obsession, perfect for cold winter evenings!

Through the Tunnel (short story) by Doris Lessing

Down Came the Rain by Brook Shields

A Town like Alice by Neville Shute

The House at Riverton by Kate Morton

When I Found You by Catherine Ryan Hyde (2)

Elvis, Jesus and Coca-Cola by Kinky Friedman

Far North by Marcel Theroux. Hauntingly disturbing novel about what will happen if we ignore our planet.

Wonderful Fool by Shusaku Endo

The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler. Can’t believe I left it this long to read Raymond Chandler

Running With Scissors by Augusten Burroughs

Dune, or The White Plague, both by Frank Herbert

Day of the Triffids, or Trouble With Lichen, both by John Wyndham

The Other Hand by @chriscleave Unmissable, best book I’ve read in ages

Behind The Scenes At The Museum by Kate Atkinson

I Heart New York by Lindsey Kelk

Precious Bane by Mary Webb

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Annie Barrows. (4) Simply a delight. Audio book superb. Brilliant!

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself) & Terry Pratchett (@terryandrob). I recommend it to everyone I meet!

Dying to Survive by Rachel Keogh. Inspirational book re overcoming heroin addiction.

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak. Beautifully written and moving.

Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson. Cracking

Fingersmith & Affinity, both by Sarah Waters. Am just about to start her latest The Little Stranger

Brick Lane by Monica Ali

Enduring Love by Ian McEwan

White Oleander by Janet Finch

American Wife by Curtis Sittenfeld. Based on Laura Bush

Lord of the Fading Lands by C L Wilson. First of four

Howards End is on the Landing by Susan Hill

Dear Fatty, Dawn French’s autobiography. A funny & touching read, written as letters to everyone from her Dad to Madonna

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini (2). Just read this in our book club and it has stayed with me.

The Other Hand by Chris Cleave

Gifted: Here Today, Gone Tomorrow by Marilyn Kaye fab reads!!

The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold

Anything by Augusten Burroughs & anything by Julie Myerson

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (first of the Millennium Trilogy) by Steig Larsson. A fabulous read!

An A-Z of Possible Worlds by A.C. Tillyer published by @roastbooks

Legend Of A Suicide by David Vann

Lollipop Shoes by Joanne Harris (2). The darker, more sinister sequel to Chocolat. Loved every page. Is *so* on my Christmas list

A Place of Greater Safety by Hilary Mantel. Best novel about French Revolution.

Precious Bane by Mary Webb

Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell.  My fave

The End of the Affair by Graham Greene

Heartburn by Nora Ephron (2)

The Other Side of You by Salley Vickers. Amazing poetic book and male character I really fell for

Turbulence by Giles Foden

Twenty Something – The Quarter Life Crisis of Jack Lancaster by Iain Hollingshead. Delivers in every way.

Blackberry Wine by Joanne Harris. Very lovely.

Eat, Pray, Love. by Liz Gilbert.

Fannie Flagg’s Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe

Beloved by Toni Morrison

Ninteen Minutes by @jodipicoult Is my fave.

How to Afford Time Off with Your Baby: 101 Ways to Ease the Financial Strain by Becky Goddard-Hill

The Gift by Cecelia Ahern

Every single thing ever written by @Jodipicoult this lady is amazing!!

Random Acts of Heroic Love by Daniel Scheinmann. Tender, elegant, unexpected and very very beautiful. Enriching x

Frenchmans Creek by Daphne Du Maurier. My all time most favourite book, makes me want to become a pirate at once!

The Twilight Saga – Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse & Breaking Dawn  by Stephenie Meyer. My most recent reads and just such great stories

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith. This is my demographic & I will give The Powers That Be every cent if they keep this up.

The Happy Isles of Oceania by Paul Theroux

The Irregulars by Roald Dahl

The British Spy Ring in Wartime Washington by Jennet Conant. Interesting and well written.

The Writing Class by Jincy Willet. Very clever and fun twists.

Welcome to the World, Baby Girl by Fannie Flagg. All time fav. I read it about once/year. Can be hard start but worth it.

The L Shaped Room – Lynne Reid Banks Amazing!

I know I can speak on behalf of @Wendymal when I say this is a pretty proud (if not Great in our little worlds) achievement.

One of those posts that is a bit like washing the kitchen floor: too daunting to complete, but the solution begins with  starting it:

http://sleepisfortheweak.org.uk/

Superb mix of fun, self-deprecating humour, intelligent worries and the single most bizarre, outrageous and knock-you-flat hilarious Advent tale ever. I don’t know what this woman is on: but I’d happily take it!

http://www.badscience.net/

Debunks bad (lazy) journalism, on all things medical, irreverant, confrontational and often very very funny.

http://deeplyflawedbuttrying.wordpress.com/

An erudite, vociferous, cuts-to-the-chase tale of motherhood and all the rest of the stuff that goes with it.

http://dragonwheels.wordpress.com/

I’ve been on a motorcyle once (about 30 years ago) and I haven’t been to Wales for 17 years: but this blog rocks. “gin-clear air” – doesn’t that just put you right there?

http://wendymallins.wordpress.com/

Wendy does (effortlessly, without guile or smugness) what I would love to be able to do. ..

http://megzytred.blogspot.com/

Families no matter how different are painfully similar.

I am in a reflective mood…

I should mention that today was Wee2’s 4th birthday. We had a quiet day with just the right ingredients to make it a happy day for the little one. His requests for presents included a Transformer (Wee1 likes them), swimming goggles, a shelf and a torch. Cleverly Mr Dotty found a wind-up torch in the camping section of the supermarket, so there is at least one toy which won’t eat batteries. Big Smartie point to Mr Dotty xxx!

We have recently returned from a less than successful trip to Orkney. Orkney itself was beautiful – in the rather bleak and raw way that Orkney is. The deserted clean beaches were lovely – but we missed other children for the Wees to play with. Granny and Grandpa spent little time with the Wees, our parenting skills seemed under scrutiny and found lacking, and it was all rather a shame.

To compound the lethargy which accompanies a dissatisfaction which cannot easily be overcome, I have gained weight and girth. I am convex where I should be concave (OK should be flat, but would really really like to be concave). I am spilling over where I should be filling out. I have decided to try running: but it is to be our secret. I am telling no-one. I have found a free podcast called “Couch to 5K” and I intend to try it out tomorrow morning. There are a few obstacles I can see along the road: the only time I can do this activity is first thing in the morning. Since I gave up work and being given large sums of dosh to catch flights at crazy hours, I am incapable of getting out of bed before I am kicked out. I have never been a successful fitness runner. Since having the Wees I have unfeasibly large breasts (what they tell you about breast-feeding is not true): there is no sports bra which can hope to constrain the darlings – maybe I shall steal some of Mr Dotty’s duct tape.

I have started drinking alcohol again. I say this, not as an alcoholic confession, but that I have found it (particularly during the holiday!) to be a useful relaxant, which also tastes quite yummy. This will also have contributed to the weight gain I am sure….

I am worried that I will not be able to maintain my new-re-found vegetarianism. I am yearning flesh. I stare at it in the fridge and it winks at me, wriggles suggestively, and promises to elevate my mood. Chorizo is the worst. Thank goodness we have no Parma ham in. I am cooking roast chicken tomorrow. God help me…

My last ‘gripe’ is that I have to (PLEASE excuse the phrase) sort my life out. I mean that quite literally. I am spurred on to do more than merely exist as a housewife and mother only to collapse at the end of the day. I know that I can be the mother I want to be, but also be ME too. To do that means organisation. I really loathe housework: the day-in-day-out kind, and the only way I can manage it is to have a list that I have to stick to. I need to clear shelves ready for my OU books. I need to find time for a new project (Melrose Community Cooperative is the working title) and I need to help Mr Dotty set up his new business. I also have to keep me healthy and happy – so that means time for tapping here.

As you see – lots to reflect upon!

… apologies to Julie Andrews! Anyway – some odds and sods that of course I could live without, but would rather not…

Bookmarks
Old postcards; laminated Wees’ drawings; very smart silver ones; pretty beaded ones; a length of knotted ribbon… Sometimes, when I find an ‘I’ll get back to that later’ book, it is the bookmark which places me right back in the story more effectively than the words on the abandoned page.

The perfect present for Wees’ end-of-year teachers’ presents! And of course I added a couple for myself…

Teacosy
You may laugh – but my second mug of tea is still piping hot! And I start my day (almost) with a smile…

Cashmere
Soft, warm, lightweight, decadent, luxurious. Hmmmmm….

Pets
They are just so much fun, and warm, and furry and naughty!

Aprons
Or pinnies… I know this probably seems silly to ever such a lot of you: but that may be because you just haven’t discovered how wonderful these panels of cotton can be. For a start they are (or should be) pretty. When you put on your pinny, you are immediately prepared for the task in hand: it’s a let’s get this job done mindset. Even the Wees wouldn’t dream of rolling out pizza dough or pastry without their pinnies on. And the obvious – they are practical and prevent you from walking through the middle of Melrose without flour all over your cardi (but not without a handprint on your bum, unfortunately).

Shopping Trolley
……. …… …..
…….. …… ……
……. …….        (tell me when you have quite recovered…?)
So – shopping trolleys and jolly, own-hair-and-teeth mummies of little Wees don’t exactly seem to belong together. Let me disabuse you of this prejudice. Shopping trolleys are cool. They are green (I can do my day’s local meat and greengrocer shopping without a car); they are practical (I live a good mile up a very steep hill from the centre of town) and I can shove Wees’ coats, umbrellas, school bags, sweatshirts in there; and if you check out the link below, you will see that they can be very pretty.
http://www.barnitts.co.uk/products/details/5353.html
Of course people laugh at first, but that is because they are seeing something unusual. Soon they will be trundling their own behind them… just wait and see.

A few of my favourite web sites (in no particular order other than this is how they are popping out of my head):

www.amazon.co.uk
Apart from the obvious… I love the ‘customers who bought this, also bought…’ feature. I have lost count of the number of new authors I have read – and loved, using this.

www.eBay.co.uk
I can’t remember the last time I bought anything new, or full price. Apart from knickers, of course (and other underwear). There are limits, you know!

www.facebook.com
Keeping in touch, sharing jokes, playing Lexulous: inconsequential merry nonsense that makes the day sparkle.

www.iGoogle.com
I love this – I have email; my calendar; Wikipedia; translation tool (I confess!); YouTube; To-Do List and Tao Te Ching quote of the day – all on one page. It’s like my own little study, which I’ve decorated and only I have the key…

www.bbc.co.uk/radio4
The Archers, and SO much more. Great podcasting service as well… The Friday 6.30 comedy slot is always a good one, Sandi Toksvig gets wryer and drier and of course we have the wonderful Paul Merton on Just a Minute. How I miss Sir Clement Freud, though…

www.YouTube.com
Paul Merton! Lots and lots of Paul Merton!! But here is my all time favourite:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Tdd6-o00Tc
I’m sorry about the corny soundtrack, but as you will cry anyway, it might as well be done properly…

www.Ted.com
Really fabulous, thought-provoking, imaginative, get-those-brain-cells ticking and give us something different-to-talk-about mini lectures. Fabulous – keep them coming… please?!

www.tapping.com
Never ever ever underestimate the power of your mind… This is a great way to work on specific obstacles (insomnia, sinusitis[truly], headaches, procrastination, anger, etc, etc) to leave your mind open for serious life changes. It is all possible – it’s just up to you. I wouldn’t be tapping away on this keyboard if it wasn’t for Magnus: so here is a big thank you from me!

www.khoola.co.uk
The most amazing jewellery – either from the site, or even more exciting: made to order. The prices are pretty unbelievable too, so a real treat for yourself or a favourite someone is suddenly within reach.

www.delia.co.uk
Isn’t she just a love? It’s like having your aunty to stay… Nothing groundbreaking, but even I can get all the ingredients and the recipes always work (apart from her goose which she cremated for me once!).

organizedhome.com
I get lost in here. It can take me days to reappear. There are Lists, colour-coded chore lists, what to eat lists, which wash to put on lists, which knickers to wear lists (OK – I made that last one up, maybe even the last two); there are Instructions, how to clean your house, how to tidy your house, how to pay your bills, how to find your knickers (I know… sorry.); there is EVEN a cleaning pinny… with instructions on how to make it!!!! I mock, I’m sorry – but actually I would like to have a clean, tidy clutter-free home… and one day I will stop giggling and do what these wholesome American lovelies say.

www.misi.co.uk
lots of lovely handmade presents at reasonable prices – and the money goes direct to the crafter, not to some horrid mean baby-eating factory owner.

www.telegraph.co.uk
For years we took The Daily Telegraph: it had nothing to do with class, politics or the fact that the crossword is the only one we can begin to solve – it is just a Very Good Read. Of course there are irritations in there – but there are very probably irritations in here, and I mean no harm… The definitive online point came to me (we had long given up the daily delivery due to expense) after a particularly nasty depression when I finally was able to surface and brave the outside world. I was having coffee with two girlfriends and they were discussing the financial collapse of Iceland. I thought they were discussing the death of that frozen ‘food’ wasteland…

www.private-eye.co.uk
I almost wish I drank red wine to accompany this. Grown-up takes-no-prisoners satire.

www.dilbert.com
Makes me laugh, reminds me of work, reminds me to be very grateful I’m not part of that culture any more!

http://idler.co.uk/news/the-idle-parent/
Hands-off parenting - with a dry dry wit.

A very special guest review by my lovely friend Bruno (he is SO grown-up!)

Love makes the world go round – it’s a nice thought. And when contemplating such a notion it’s also nice to have a book in front of you that reinforces the idea. However, in the case of one character from Love in the Time of Cholera it could almost be ‘sex makes the world go round’. But I’m jumping ahead of myself a bit now. Backtrack.

Love in the Time of Cholera tells the story of Fermina Daza and Florentino Ariza. And in case you’re worried, there’s more love in the tale than cholera, so it’s perhaps not as morbid as the title suggests. Fermina and Florentino live on an unnamed Caribbean island at the turn of the century. She’s a feisty though somewhat unsure vision of gorgeousness, and he’s a slow but steady unassuming type. Outward appearances could suggest the hare and the tortoise, but in many ways the book is about what happens behind closed doors, and metaphorically speaking that includes perception versus reality when it comes to the characters and their private lives.

The title of the book could almost be Unrequited Love in the Time of Cholera, for the majority of the tale sees Florentino carrying a torch for Fermina that she blatantly refuses to acknowledge. She doesn’t try to put the torch out, because to her it doesn’t even exist. We follow their lives for fifty years, or thereabouts, and because the story see-saws between these two characters and their very different experiences, it remains constantly engaging.

Written in a ‘warts ‘n all’ style, we often see the people and the places at their most base. However, this is contrasted with flowery, almost poetic prose that gives even the most unpleasant of events a sort of fatal romanticism. The book also feels older than it really is. First published in 1985, it harks back to the style of the classic romance novels, though there’s also enough spice to keep the modern audience engaged. There is sex in the world of Fermina and Florentino, and in the case of the latter it’s numerous and all out of wedlock. But it’s not gratuitous. On Dotty’s Doris Day-o-meter (zero being the sort of thing that would even put Ms Day’s feet to sleep, and ten blowing the dial off the o-meter in a super-saucy, super-cloud of super-sex steam) the book scores a solid five. It’s neither overly racy nor boringly prudish.

However, having spent the last four hundred words heaping praise on the novel, I must say the end left me a bit cold. As the story unfolds there are times when unpleasant things happen to the characters, establishing that unpleasant things happen in the world of the novel and applying a sense of mortality. I thought this was going to be carried through to the end and provide the finales’ dramatic climax. I was wrong. Though this isn’t enough to taint the story as a whole, and I’d still recommend the book if you want your world to spin a little bit faster on the axis of love.

Wow – don’t you just want to go out and buy that book? I’m getting my order in now … I’ll let you know if it does reach #5 on the Doris Day-o-meter

What a jolly film: it’s him, no it’s him, no him, no her, HER?, oh no, him (bang!), noooo… its the dog!, it’s the cat! (What cat?), it’s the statue (no not that one, silly…). It’s the communion wafer… what? Whoa – ouchy ouchy……..! When did it finish? Do you think they’ll get married? Oh I do hope so. Maybe there will be a sequel? Shall we go out again one day? Oh YES!

When I’m not ‘being’ a Mummy, I do try and get involved in a few grown-up things. These can vary wildly from day to month to year, but a few I try and keep constant. These are:

Meditation: I am very new to meditation, and find it a huge mental challenge. Apart from the sheer joy of being made to sit still for an hour and a half without ignoring the ironing pile, the smears on the windows, the toy clutter and the pitter patter of bed-hopping feet, it has opened up a world of selfless contemplation, of an open spirit and inner calm. It works for me….

HUSH: This an amazing organisation, which I support in a very small and inadequate way. It exists to support families whose children have contracted Haemolytic Uraemic Syndrome as a result of infection with the eColi 0157 bacteria. Both Wee1 and Wee2 were unlucky enough to be infected, but Wee1 went on to develop HUS and acute kidney failure. It was a traumatic time – ambulance transfer to Glasgow Sick Kids Renal Unit, 24 hour kidney dialysis, blood transfusions, drip feed, tubes everwhere and a very small wan 3-year-old lost in the middle of it all. The family also suffered, of course: we were 31/2 hours from home, my husband was working long hours to support us and Wee2 had to go to stay with my parents on Orkney. Anyway – we all came through it and my tiny contribution is to be available by phone or email to any family going through the same thing who just want to talk. I wish I could do more.

Amnesty International: This is a new one for me – but I know it is one that I will love. One of my jobs when playing Miss Corporate was to lobby the government, and when I quit the rat race to try and make babies (not as daft as it sounds: I was abroad at least 5 nights a week!) I worked as a volunteer advocate for adults with learning disabilities: basically making sure they got whatever they were entitled to, rather than what they could be fobbed off with. So – the battle for the little folk against the big bad monster of the system is right up my street.

Open University: I started this a couple of months before Wee1 became ill, and had to write the last essays to complete my module by his bedside – not ideal. I passed, but I couldn’t see how I could ever fit anything other than tending to my babies every need ever again. Still, I’m back in the land of some kind of reality now and feel able to start studying again. The degree will eventually be a BA (Hons) in Criminology and Psychology, and I hope to be able to put it to use before I shuffle off this mortal coil!

The less constant crushes have been on sewing (clothes – fine until I get to the hem, then I lose all interest; patchwork; baby clothes; penants; curtains and many many cushions); knitting (I can do the knitting bit but my casting on is truly dire); vegetable gardening (reasonably succesful: I was found by the midwife hoeing weeds the morning after Wee2 was born); crochet (unmitigated disaster, and all I want to be able to do is crochet a little flower) and jam and chutney making of every conceivable variety.

I have also become enamoured of the thought of making ribbony-beaded bookmarks. However, my bipolar pocketguide (a bit like the wallet insert AA gives you), tells me that I have to wait for two weeks before embarking on any new project: and I know that ‘making things’ is one of my manic triggers – so I am being a good girl:)

On rereading this, I realise that my introduction of ‘a few I try and keep constant‘ is a total and utter delusion: they are all either relatively new or not even started. Ha! I can do this because I am me and being me is what I can do… fab isn’t it?!